Case Study: Tribeless x Sticky Rice Love
Stories from our trilingual, cross-cultural collaboration with SRL, an award-winning sexual health nonprofit in Hong Kong 🇭🇰
Late March 2018, Tribeless (Malaysia) and Sticky Rice Love (Hong Kong) engaged in a trilingual, cross-cultural learning exchange in The Wave, Hong Kong. We were there by virtue of a generous collaboration grant by Ashoka and the Robert Bosch Stiftung under the Ashoka Changemakerxchange.
Both parties were primarily there to test the waters for a bigger collaboration: creating a custom version of The Empathy Box (more fondly known as the Box), Tribeless’ facilitation methodology for creating a safe space for open, honest conversations, no matter how cringe-inducing the topic.
And the topic in question was pretty gnarly — Sticky Rice Love’s core work was in getting youths to start talking about (gasp!) sex. In a society as traditionally conservative as Hong Kong, we were excited to reimagine a custom Box that’s dedicated to removing the stigma around sexual education.
But first, the SRL team had to experience the Box as is. Which brings us here:
8 of Sticky Rice Love’s core team and volunteers gathered in a room, chatting excitedly in Cantonese. I had a rudimentary grasp of the language, but if I concentrated hard enough, I could grasp the gist of their conversation:
Work… Parents… Volunteering… Upcoming symposium… New app…
I glanced nervously at Shawn, who gave me a reassuring smile. His Cantonese was slightly better than mine, but being here as their facilitators, we both felt out of our depth. Could we really hold space for this group of strangers… In a foreign language we could barely speak?
All of a sudden, they were done. 16 pairs of eyes locked onto ours expectantly.
“Uh… Thank you for being here,” I smiled nervously at them.
“Welcome to the Tribeless Story Circle.”
The format of the Tribeless Story Circle is simple: every participant picks a Context Card that resonates with them (out of the 20+ Cards scattered before them) and then pairs it with the Theme Card. The combination of the Context Card and the Theme Card serve to spark personal memories and experiences; usually, we encourage people to share the first story that comes to mind. They can do so in their turn as the Storyteller; the Story Circle ends once everyone has had a chance to the Storyteller.
At the end of each story, everyone in the Circle has the opportunity to respond using Tribeless’ proprietary Response Cards (RC’s for short). The RC’s subtly model the ideal kind of response we want to practice in a conversation, from expressing appreciation to asking questions to sharing observations.
The Storyteller also gets to decide if and when they would like to address the RC’s, so they won’t be interrupted or taken by surprise (no one is allowed to speak until their RC is addressed!). Everything in the Circle is intentional and permission-based; this ensures and maintains the safe space for deep sharing.
The theme for this Story Circle was “Identity”. One by one, each participant opened up and shared their stories about identity. We learned that the people in Hong Kong understood ‘identity’ very differently from the Western-leaning definition — to them, your identity was how you were perceived by your society, not something you defined for yourself.
For example, one Storyteller mentioned that he and his girlfriend were about to “change identities”. Everyone’s expressions immediately morphed into one of elation… While Shawn’s and mine remained blank. After a while, it finally dawned on me — he was alluding to getting married! Marriage was more than a change in relationship status; it was a change in personal identity.
(Fascinatingly, another participant played the ‘Share An Observation’ RC and said: “You don’t seem too excited about it”, to which the Storyteller sheepishly agreed… But that’s a story for another day 😏)
Another Storyteller talked about the abruptness of identity shifts after having a child: “You go from a daughter to a mother. There’s no turning back.”
True to Sticky Rice Love’s organizational focus, we noticed all of the stories could be traced back to the core themes of sex and relationships.
One volunteer actually came out to the group. He told the group that he had “died a social death” once he revealed his sexuality to his social circle. We were so honored he found the courage to tell us.
Another talked about how she is now very vocal about injustice, “to make up for how she did not protect herself as a child”. Another opened up about the unique challenges and joys that came with having a child out of wedlock; it was an emotional moment when another participant tearfully said, “You’ve helped me see my sister’s lovechild with different eyes. Thank you.”
As with any Tribeless Session, there were tears, secrets, and loads of laughter. All the language and cultural barriers melted away, and we saw each other for who we are underneath it all: human beings.
And it wasn’t just the SRL team that got to dive beneath the surface; everyone else in the room (including the three foreign observers!) got a heart-warming glimpse beyond the shiny veneer of this metropolitan city. Just listening to the stories provided an unprecedented glimpse into the inner thoughts, emotions and lives of the people of Hong Kong.
Perhaps the impact of the session can be summed up in the words of US-based artist Fernanda D’Agostino, who was passing through the city: “I’ve learned more about Hong Kong in 3 hours than I have the whole past week.”
Both organizations hit several milestones in this learning exchange:
For Tribeless, despite hosting hundreds of sessions over the past 2 years, this was the first time we were doing it in a trilingual setting (English, Cantonese, and Mandarin), with participants having varying levels of comprehension for each language! Despite needing to rely on translators in the beginning, we eventually learned to let go and just have faith in our Box.
And indeed, the Box was robust enough to withstand — no, transcend — such stark cultural differences, and create the safe space necessary for the deep, honest exploration of everyone’s personal narratives.
For Sticky Rice Love, it was their first time engaging with their core volunteer team on such an intimate level since their inception in 2013.
Everyone opened up, shared secrets, expressed gratitude, and forged an even deeper bond with one another — despite being recorded by a film crew! 🙊
(Context: SRL was invited to appear on Radio Television Hong Kong, a local TV channel, and they decided to highlight our collaboration in the feature.)
After the session ended and the film crew left, the Sticky Rice Love team was eager to start exploring how we could integrate the Box and the power of open, honest conversations into their ongoing work in sexual health.
Sticky Rice Love expressed strong interest in adapting the Box into a localized, translated (Cantonese) edition focused on sex education, possibly debuting it in a national symposium on sex education in June that involves hundreds of school teachers and social workers.
We couldn’t be more excited to begin.
Interested in exploring a Box collaboration with us? We’re always open to new possibilities! Email us at hello[at]tribeless[dot]co and reference this article.
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