12 months ago, after running Tribeless as a community for 1.5 years, we registered it as an entity — and officially became a company.
The journey since has been replete with hardship, anxiety and discovery. This hasn’t been the easiest year — Ariff left the team, Gwen stepped down as CEO, and we failed more times than we can count — but in retrospect, if we hadn’t gone through all that, we wouldn’t be where we are now: with great clients, new hires coming in, an incredible community, and a product people love. 😌
Entrepreneurship narratives have always been shrouded in rose-tinted perfection. Not this one.
We’d like to speak openly and honestly about our first year in operation: all the things we tried, the lessons we learned, and the people who’ve kept us going. Whether you’re a partner, client, future teammate or random stranger, we hope you find it enlightening — and if you do, we’d love to hear from you!
So, what did we get up to in 2018? To sum it up in a word:
Exploration. 💛
OUR 2018 IN A GLANCE
— — — — — — — — — — —
- Tribeless Host Program: Expanding to 20 cities and 4 continents overnight
- Unspeakable Things: Failing to create and sell our first consumer game
- Ashoka CXC Collaborations: Talking about disability and sex with the Box
- Ariff Left Tribeless: Learning to handle a co-founder breakup with grace
- CGA London: Struggling with mental health while co-living in London
- Conference Clients: Facilitating conversations for 120 people in SG and KL
- Empathy Box Launch: Nearly killing ourselves with our first sales campaign
- Diversifying Our (Event) Portfolio: Trying six different ways to use the Box
- Gwen Stepped Down As CEO: Realizing Shawn is a better fit for the role
- What’s Next For Tribeless: Our plans, hopes and dreams for 2019!
NOTE: This article is 6,800+ words long and split into 10 sub-stories. You can navigate to different sub-stories by clicking the links above (it’ll open it up on a new page), or just keep scrolling all the way through. Happy reading! 🔖
👨👩👧👦 Tribeless Host Program
In A Nutshell:
To test the effectiveness of The Empathy Box in different cultural contexts, we launched the Tribeless Host Program. Our cohort of 17 Hosts hosted Tribeless Conversations in 20 cities across 4 continents. We’ve since decided to put a stop to the program, and focus on 3 cities — KL, Singapore and Barcelona.
Tribeless started as a series of stranger dinners that created safe spaces for folks to share, listen and respond to each other’s personal stories. In 2017, we decided to scale it—by distilling our methodology into a deck of cards.
We called it The Empathy Box.
Our 2018 New Year’s Resolution was to put The Empathy Box to the test: Would it hold its weight in a different culture? A different context? Would people be able to host Tribeless Conversations with The Empathy Box as their main tool?
To do this, we created the Tribeless Host Program — a global 3-month-long online training program for people to host Tribeless Conversations in their city using The Empathy Box.
We opened up applications, conducted interviews, made our selections, and gave them access to the Box. Some downloaded it, some bought it, and some translated it and handmade it with love and care. (Like the one above!)
Altogether, we had 17 people hosting Tribeless Conversations across 20 cities, 12 countries and 4 continents.
From Barcelona to Beijing, Oxford to New York, our Tribeless Hosts organized monthly Tribeless Conversations with their Box. Everyone learned lots, got to know their friends and strangers on a deeper level, and had an amazing time.
However, after the 3 months ended, we decided to put it on hiatus. Why? While it was great validation for the Box, it wasn’t a sustainable way to grow.
See, we literally expanded to 20 cities overnight. As an inexperienced team of three, we were in WAY over our heads. Stretched thin by the fire-fighting and cross-continent coordinating, we weren’t able to dedicate enough time to the thing that mattered most: building strong ties within the Host community.
And we paid the price: By the end of the program, only four Hosts decided to stay on. It was a big wake-up call — and a valuable learning experience.
Here are three things we’re doing differently now:
- Quality > Quantity. Today, we’ve scaled back our Host communities. The only three active cities now are Kuala Lumpur, Singapore and Barcelona — with a small, close-knit and dedicated community of Hosts in each. They’re each other’s biggest supporters, leading the charge in their home cities.
- Empowerment > Enablement. We select for Hosts who exhibit passion, grit and perseverance, and give them complete autonomy over their cities. We see them as an extension of our team, and prioritize their sovereignty (and wellbeing!) above all else.
- Long-term > Short-term. The biggest issue with the Program was exactly that: it was a program. Now that we know Hosting is a long-term endeavor that can’t fit into any particular timeline, we’re a lot more selective of our pioneering Hosts — and communicate this commitment upfront.
Thankfully, setting our boundaries has led us to attract an incredibl(y diverse) group of quirky, empathic folks from all walks of life as our Hosts. We couldn’t be more grateful to them for championing our vision in everything they do.
To our Hosts, thank you for everything you’ve given and continue to give — Danielle, Qing Ping, Cammy, Sim, Anya, Zoey, Dang, Marta, Albert, Olimpia, Alyssa, Gab, Ying, Jimmy, Reggie and Lisa. 🙏
For those who joined the Tribeless Host Program, thank you so much for taking that first leap of faith! The Host community will be forever shaped by your insights and love: Greta, Christian, Ronja, Rachel, Daniel, James, Jennifer, Saurav, Jalen, Abby, Alex, Kathleen, Charlotte, Christine & Michael! 💛
The best part of this whole experience? Watching the Box touch lives in countries we’d never even been to! Our hypothesis turned out to be true:
The Empathy Box *was* culturally agnostic, and had the power to connect and unite people across borders. 🌍
Which leads us to our next big move (and mistake)…
🎴 Unspeakable Things
In A Nutshell:
We attempted to create a consumer game based on The Empathy Box. When we realized we’d overestimated our abilities, we had to make a decision — do we deliver a sub-par product, or do we apologize and admit we were wrong?
Unspeakable Things was our attempt at getting The Empathy Box to a wider market. We were foolhardy, thinking our knowledge of the Box was complete from our global Host Program testing, and were eager to start making some 💰💰💰 from it.
So we distilled the principles from the Box, turned it into a consumer game, and launched a closed sales campaign for it in conjunction with Gwen’s 24th.
There was a very gratifying response — it seemed people were interested in a “game” version of The Empathy Box, and we sold 12 boxes immediately.
However, the more we tested and iterated on Unspeakable Things, the more we realized making it a game actually diluted the experience.
It was the first time we were faced with a crossroads as a company:
Do we stand by our values, or let our first customers down?
Ultimately, we decided to trust in the former, and sent them an excruciatingly honest e-mail with a title that said it all: “I’m so sorry. We f*cked up.”
In it, we detailed our decision-making process, apologized and gave them two options — [1] get The Empathy Box, or [2] a full refund, no questions asked.
All 12 of them chose The Empathy Box. 💛
And we were again affirmed in our belief that the best way to do business is with your whole heart — authentically, humbly, and vulnerably.
To our little pool of early adopters, thank you for your understanding and patience. We hope you’re enjoying your Box, April, Wei Kit, Keith, Thila, Lincoln, Vidya, Danielle, Nicolette, Janice, Natasha, Julie and Marc!
🤝 Ashoka CXC Collaborations
In A Nutshell:
We received Changemakerxchange grants to fly to Hong Kong and Singapore to work with Sticky Rice Love and (these)abilities to develop sexual health and disability themed editions of The Empathy Box. (What a mouthful!)
Ashoka Changemakerxchange — a collaboration platform for young social entrepreneurs — has been an incredible resource for us at Tribeless.
Unlike other conferences where the relationships end when the participants fly home, CXC encourages longer-term interaction and impact through the offering of collaboration grants, supported by the Robert Bosch Stiftung.
We were lucky enough to get not just one, but two collaboration grants — one with Sticky Rice Love, a Hong Kong-based non-profit that promotes sexual health literacy among youth, and one with (these)abilities, a Singaporean social enterprise that promotes inclusive design for People with Disabilities.
The goal was to co-create themed versions of The Empathy Box — one on sexual health, the other on disability — for their communities.
Our first stop was to Sticky Rice Love in Hong Kong. The trip got off to a crazy start — our Airbnb fell through at the last minute, so we spent the night roaming the streets of Mongkok (and developing empathy for the homeless!). Thankfully, a kind stranger reached out on FB, and offered us a few nights at their penthouse apartment in Midlevels. What a 180º shift in luck! 🙏
While we weren’t able to co-create a sex-themed Box, we did manage to have a great Tribeless Conversation with SRL’s core volunteer group. In the words of a visiting American artist, who was invited to sit in and observe the session:
“I’ve learned more about HK in 3 hours than I have the whole past week.” 😲
Read about the full experience (and all the stories that emerged!) here.
Our next stop was to (these)abilities in Singapore. This was a longer-term collaboration, spanning three months of user research, prototyping and play-testing. The goal was to co-create a disability edition of The Empathy Box that can bridge the gap between People with Disabilities and Able-Bodied People.
The Disability Box exceeded ALL our expectations. The participants who had tried both the original Empathy Box and the Disability Box said that the latter was more effective in capturing the PwD experience, while still being inclusive of ABPs. The post-session feedback showed a marked increase in empathy and understanding, especially on the data point “I am aware of the challenges faced by the other participants”. 👏
One of the most memorable stories came from a deaf PwD who chose the word “Privilege”. Secretly, every ABP in the room thought she would share about how she had been disadvantaged by her disability her whole life.
Imagine everyone’s surprise when she shared about how privileged she felt she was, instead!
“I went into Hong Kong Disneyland on a child’s price,” she giggled, through the interpreter. “They even threw in FastTrack passes for me and all my friends! In life, sometimes you get more privilege, and sometimes you get less. It helps us make up for what we don’t have,” she smiled, gesturing to her ears.
With that one story, she had completely reframed what ‘privilege’ meant to each and every one of us. At the closing circle, everyone shared that was what surprised them most — and gave them a new perspective on disability.
Read the full design journey (and more stories!) on our Impact Report here.
While we loved getting to know these communities and co-creating a tool that could address their needs, we ultimately decided to stop focusing on making themed editions of the Box.
Similar to the Host Program, we realized it wasn’t a path that was sustainable for us. These collaborations were made possible by the Robert Bosch Stiftung and Ashoka, but there was no way we could fund them on our own. 😣
In this respect, we are beyond grateful to: the Changemakerxchange team for enabling all of this in the first place; Ashoka PH and SG for their hospitality and loving support; Ken and Ariff for coordinating with the (t)a SG community and making the Disability Box such a success; Sam, Julia and Kitty for having us in HK for the SRL session; Recipes For Wellbeing on spreading the Box around the EU region; and Ingi for soldiering ahead anyway with the Migration Box! 💛
But it wasn’t all fun and games. Amidst the busyness, an unmistakable tension simmered under the surface — finally rearing its head in early May.
👨 Ariff Left Tribeless
In A Nutshell:
We “ate our own dog-food” by using The Empathy Box to have a conversation with Ariff about leaving the company. Throughout the process, we learned a lot about grace, humility, and maintaining a friendship in the face of conflict.
In May, we were faced with our most difficult decision thus far — letting go of our third co-founder, Ariff.
The three of us were the best of friends. We started out by co-hosting Tribeless Conversations, so running it as a company together seemed like a natural next step. But as the stress of getting something off the ground gnawed away at us, one truth became apparent: Ariff wasn’t the best fit for Tribeless as a startup.
That meant one thing:
We had to let go of our best friend. And we had one chance to get it right.
We’ll save you from the details, but TL;DR: we managed to work things out — using the principles we’d learned from The Empathy Box, no less — and are now better friends than ever.
By establishing a safe space and a shared purpose, we were able to lay our cards on the table (literally!)…
And that made all the difference.
We’ve all grown so much from this experience. Ariff is now in a job he loves, at a company he admires. We finally found the courage to start hiring again. And we’ve been able to handle many, many more difficult conversations since.
Thank you, Riff, for being such a kind and understanding friend. You were there since the beginning, and stepped up when both of us couldn’t. We were lucky to have worked with you, and are grateful for the lessons you’ve taught us. 💛
Read the full story of how we handled the break-up on Medium:
🌇 Collective Global Accelerator London
In A Nutshell:
Gwen spent the whole of June co-living with 10 other social entrepreneurs from 5 continents at The Collective Old Oak, the largest co-living facility in the world. She opens up about the mental health struggles she faced there, and the epiphanies she had around the healing power of community.
When we first read about the Collective Global Accelerator — a residential impact accelerator program in London— we hoped against hope that we could be a part of it. Primarily because one of their impact areas was in “Human Connection”, a field we were actively working in!
Out of 4,600 hopefuls, Tribeless turned out to be one of the 11 startups that was accepted into the month-long program. Gwen spent June living in The Collective Old Oak, the world’s largest co-living facility, exploring the city, experiencing co-living life, and bonding with our 10 other cohort-mates.
The following is her personal account, and written from her perspective:
“There I was, living in one of the most vibrant cities in the world, and I was torn between being a good participant and a good founder.
All of my cohort-mates had a very clear reason for being there — some were all ears at the all-day workshops; others were always out hustlin’ for clients. Me? I was stuck somewhere in the middle.
My primary goal for being in London was to expand our reach and establish credibility in a new city, something I couldn’t do if I was sitting in workshops all day. At the same time, I felt bad every time I skipped a mandatory activity, because I appreciated the organizers’ efforts and didn’t want to rock the boat.
Despite my multiple attempts at clarifying my situation to the organizers, they insisted on my attendance — and my mental health began to spiral. I would lie in bed for hours, the warring emotions sucking all the life out of me. 🌀
The one thing that kept me going was the camaraderie I shared with the other entrepreneurs. Living together made such a huge difference — I wasn’t allowed to “wallow” for long, because there was always a communal dinner or yoga class to pull me out of my funk. Till today, I consider every single one of these amazing, kind, resilient warriors my family. 💛
Thanks to their support, I stayed true to my values — and it paid off. As the program drew to a close, we were given more free time, and I immediately used it to schedule as many demo Tribeless sessions as I could.
There were days where I had up to four back-to-back sessions, rushing from one company to the next. We ended up earning the respect and friendship of several mentors, industry leaders, and the wonderful Collective folks!
Biggest takeaway from this experience? Community has the power to heal, uplift and transform, but it can only do so much. Developing more awareness of my mental and emotional limitations is equally as important — and I need to prioritize that as much as I would my physical health, especially when I’m traveling and living in a new place.”
Special thanks to Bien, Andre, Daniel, Elias and Reza for the opportunity, Hydie for your belief, David, Joysy, Erik and Anna for your time, our incredible cohort-mates Charles, Shaney, Sarah, Juliana, Anh, Berat, Arthur, Andrei, René, Katy for the family we’d become, and the fantastic Collective residents and team.
Thank you for giving us at Tribeless a home away from home! 🏠
🎟️ Our First Conference Clients
In A Nutshell:
We had two conference clients back-to-back — TEDxPickeringStreet (SG) and Malaysian Medical Summit (KL) — where we were tasked with replicating the magic of Tribeless Conversations at scale. The result? 250+ connections were built, limiting beliefs were broken, and we even got ourselves a third client!
After Gwen returned from London (and an extended facilitation stint at CXC Amsterdam), our next big challenge rose before us:
Facilitating multiple Tribeless Conversations simultaneously. 😱
Up to this point, we’d only hosted Tribeless Conversations in intimate, small-group settings. Our Hosts were well-trained and experienced; our attendees were curated and informed.
But with our first two conference clients — TEDxPickeringStreet in Singapore and Malaysian Medical Summit in KL — hoping for all 120 of their attendees to have a Tribeless experience, these conditions were thrown out the window.
We had to question a fundamental belief we’d held thus far:
Was it possible to replicate the Tribeless magic at scale?
Turns out, the Tribeless magic wasn’t restricted to certain conditions.
With a combination of facilitator training, attendee briefing, and logistical coordinating, we were able to host up to 20 small-group conversations at a time — giving conference-goers an unforgettable experience in connection.
Katherine, an attendee from TEDxPickeringSt had this gem to say:
“I initially imagined this session to be a mini TED Talk… It turned out to be a unique experience of reliving and empathising with other people’s experiences. I didn’t expect to get so emotional, and have the rare opportunity to cry publicly with new friends!”
Khor, an MMS 2018 volunteer facilitator, had similar sentiments to share:
“Having participated in many social/networking events, I thought it would just be another session of getting to know more people superficially. But through this Tribeless Conversation, I felt a lot more connected and sincere in knowing people and making friends. It’s such a relief to be able to share and express ourselves!”
The best part? They’re not alone! 💛
92% and 100% of TEDxPS and MMS attendees said they felt heard and understood in their Tribeless Conversations!
In fact, one TEDxPS participant enjoyed herself so much; she later brought us in to facilitate at her company JCO’s Open House — making her Client #3! 🙌
We couldn’t be more grateful for these experiences to stretch our boundaries, challenge our limiting beliefs, and share our work with a wider audience.
Of course, none of it would’ve been possible without these first believers, who shared in our vision of spreading empathic, meaningful conversations:
- Ri Chang, who brought us into TEDxPickeringStreet. It was our very first time attempting this format, and while we messed up more times than we can count, we are so thankful to have had your trust and friendship through it all!
- Eunice and Vikki, who brought us into MMS 2018. It was our first time being a part of a professional medical conference, and despite all the hiccups, we had so much fun working with your committee and attendees. Thank you!
- Tracy Chia, who brought us into JCO’s December Open House. We were blown away by the courage it took to bring Tribeless into a closed, corporate space; going so far as to place advisors and their clients in the same groups! Thank you for fighting for us. And of course, not forgetting our facilitators — Sylvain, Christelle, Anya, and Jun Shern — who stepped up and saved our butts at the very last minute. You were absolutely incredible! 💛
These experiences have been transformational for us, and emboldened us to take more risks. Which led us to the biggest one of all…
📦 Empathy Box Launch
In A Nutshell:
We rushed into our first sales campaign for The Empathy Box, thinking we’d be able to get everything done in 10 days (spoiler: we did, but chaos ensued). We ended up selling 120 Boxes to 22 countries — barely half of our target — but we walked away with lessons that set us on a new trajectory for 2019.
From the moment we first introduced The Empathy Box to the wider public in September 2017, there’d been an overwhelming interest in it. Everyone wanted to buy it, adapt it, use it in their work, and make it their own.
And while the interest was flattering, and the prospect of finally making 💰 was enticing, we were too scared to put it out into the world.
Until one day, we received this unexpected testimonial from a Host:
Just like that, after months of delaying this decision, we announced we were going to open The Empathy Box for purchase.
But we were being too impulsive, because…
Except for the cards themselves, nothing ELSE was actually ready. 😱
Not the user manual, not the training videos, not even the damn marketing materials. We’d printed 250 boxes, but we didn’t even have a mailing list!
Unlike Unspeakable Things, however, we weren’t about to go back on our word. So we worked 14-hour days, trying to get everything done. We hand-packed all 250 Boxes. We filmed 80 minutes of training material in two days.
But as we neared the deadline we’d set for ourselves, we’d only sold 50 Boxes.
Devastated and ashamed, we wrote a tell-all article on Medium, speaking honestly about our mistake and asking our community for support. They pulled through — we doubled our sales on the last week of the campaign!
All in all, we managed to sell 120 Boxes to 22 countries. 💛
While the final sales count was barely half of our initial 250 target, we walked away with lessons that are far more valuable. They are:
- The Empathy Box is intuitive to use, but only if you’ve experienced it! The online courses we made weren’t enough to give the Box buyers a clear enough understanding of how to use it in their daily lives. Those who have experienced it, however, were able to use it without a hitch. That’s why we will be packaging the Box with the experience in 2019. (More info here!)
- The use(r)s were as diverse as they come. Examples include: A product UX designer, who wanted to use it for user interviews; a nonprofit leader, who wanted to use it for volunteer onboarding; and a church pastor, who wanted to use it to build a stronger community within the church!
- Most users shared the same values and goals. Despite how diverse they are in terms of age, nationality and industry, our first 120 Box buyers care about [1] relationships and [2] meaningful conversations. It’s a small but niche community, and we’re so excited to get to know them better. 😍
This launch wouldn’t have been possible without all 120+ of you. Thank you for trusting us with your time, money and feedback — we will honor it in all we do.
The Empathy Box’s future is more certain now.
We’ve processed your feedback, and will be honoring it. In 2019, the Box will no longer be sold on its own. Instead, it’ll only be made available through in-person experiences — so that you can experience it first-hand and develop the skills to recreate that experience, before bringing the Box home!
It was so hard to make this decision and state our boundaries as a company, but we’re more certain than ever that this is the right decision to make. 💛
If you’re keen on experiencing (and buying) the Box, do sign up here!
👯 Diversifying Our (Event) Portfolio
In A Nutshell:
From retreats to (learning) socials, discussions to role-playing negotiations, we experimented with six event formats and settings you can use the Box in beyond Tribeless Conversations. The results were eye-opening.
While we adore facilitating Tribeless Conversations, we’ve always wondered:
What else can we do with The Empathy Box? 🤔
So throughout the year — but especially so toward the end of it — we had the chance to experiment with different contexts, formats and play-styles… And can we just say, the possibilities truly are endless!
Here’s a non-exhaustive list of formats we tried:
▸ AN HONEST SOCIAL
Designed to skip the small talk and catalyze deeper connections in a group of 30–50 pax, An Honest Social is a mash-up between a Tribeless Conversation and a networking cocktail:
- Instead of their name, they’d choose a word and write it on a sticker.
- Instead of small talk, they’d share a personal story about their word.
- Instead of business cards, they’d use our Empathy Box cards to interact.
We hosted it three times — once in SG, twice in KL — to massive success (read an attendee’s testimonial here), but eventually, we decided to put it on hiatus.
As much as we loved the energy and excitement that came from large groups, they were too much of a hassle to organize… And a far cry from the impact we were creating with the smaller, more curated Tribeless Conversations.
’Twas a good run, though! Cheers to everyone for filling out the room, and to Ri (Culture Candy) + EPIC (The Compass) for co-organizing with us. 💛
▸ GSKL HUB RETREAT
After being a part of four (!) Changemakerxchange retreats, Gwen was keen to try her hand at leading one. So when the opportunity arose for her to co-organize Global Shapers KL’s annual retreat, she jumped at the chance!
What made the task so challenging was that [1] it was a nonprofit with years of legacy, with [2] diverse, passionate members of varying lengths of tenure, and [3] a culture of side-stepping around conflict instead of facing it head-on.
While Gwen thoroughly enjoyed designing and facilitating the programme to address these issues, the part that sealed the deal was the four-hour Tribeless Conversation. It came with a twist — only the ‘Love’ and ‘Question’ cards were allowed! Interestingly enough, this tweak made all the difference. 💙
Tears were shed, inside jokes were created, and hugs were exchanged, as they showed love and asked questions to deepen their understanding of each other.
Today, GSKL feels like a brand-new community. The hope, connection and friendship is palpable. They’re willing to take risks and try new things, like…
▸ GSKL LEARNING SOCIAL
Designed to encourage learning, sharing and cross-pollinating between youth organizations in Malaysia—many of which often operate in silos — a Learning Social is like a potluck, but instead of food, 3–4 organizations will contribute a short, interactive workshop on their organizations’ expertise.
As its name suggests, the GSKL Learning Social did take inspiration from the aforementioned two formats. Per the principles of OpenSpace, we had three workshops running in parallel — and it fell on Tribeless to lead folks through the experience, manage the energy and expectations of everyone present.
Not an easy task, but so much fun! And the response was tremendous: nothing like this had ever been attempted in Malaysia before, and people LOVED it. 💙Kudos to Reza, GSKL and Co-Labs for the trust and support! Here’s to #2!
▸ LSE/IEP WORKSHOP
When Gwen was invited to One Young World as an All Bar None Scholar and Peace Ambassador, we had no idea what to expect. OYW is one of the largest gatherings of changemakers in the world, drawing over 1,800 people to The Hague in 2018. We thought Tribeless would be just a drop in the ocean.
So when an opportunity arose to facilitate a negotiation workshop under the London School of Economics and Institute for Economics and Peace, Gwen thought it would be fun to apply the Box to a whole new context:
Bringing order to a chaotic, time-constrained, multi-party discussion. 🗯️
At the table, there were 15 smart, opinionated delegates, and only one Gwen. Any facilitator would have their work cut out for them, getting everyone on the same page and making sure they could contribute equitably and fairly.
But thanks to The Empathy Box — more specifically, the Response Cards — it was a breeze. The principles of the cards, coupled with the rule of waiting for your turn to speak, ensured everyone had the chance to make their voices heard — all while having a damn good time. 🙌
▸ GLOBAL SHAPERS HEADS’ MEET
Not long after, we used the Box in a similar format at a closed-door gathering with Wadia and James, the Heads of the Global Shapers Community. They were the voice of 7,700+ young leaders around the world, and represented the bridge between the local Hubs and the World Economic Forum HQ.
Similar to the LSE/IEP scenario, there were 20 Global Shapers in the room, all eager to pick the Heads’ brains on both personal and Hub-related matters. How might we ensure that everyone finds value in a single conversation?
“I love order and structure!” exclaimed Wadia, as Gwen brought out the Box.
And true enough, the “order and structure” proved to be exceedingly useful in keeping everyone engaged in a single conversation. Shapers took turns asking questions and expressing opinions, and everyone got a lot of value out of it. 💙
▸ “PURPOSE-LED, CONNECTION-DRIVEN” WORKSHOP
Of all the different formats, our favorite was definitely the half-day workshop we put together with our friends from Y2Y Initiative and Pack Your Skills at SingularityU Nordic, made possible by yet another generous CXC grant.
The workshop combined all three organizations’ expertise — purpose, identity and connection — to create a transformational journey for our 13 participants from 7 countries. They learned about their individual strengths, reflected on their internal purpose, and wrapped it up with a Tribeless Conversation. 🎀
The most powerful testimony came from a young woman from Canada. She struggles with articulating herself, so it took her twice as long to share as everyone else. At the end of her story, she was nearly in tears:
“I never knew how powerful it could be to speak and listen without interruption.”
Co-leading this workshop opened our eyes to the beauty and transformation that’s possible in half a day. That’s why in 2019, we’ll be shifting our focus to education & training — so that we can empower more people with the skills to have more open, honest conversations with the people in their lives. 💛
We believe these play-styles and formats are just the tip of the ice-berg. In fact, one of our Empathy Box buyers recently came up with a cool way of using it as a party game! (TL;DR: Instead of choosing your own word, you pass a word to someone else for them to tell a story.)
It’s been so much fun unleashing our creativity, taking risks and daring to fail. But the most shocking realization was to come at the end of the year…
🙇 Gwen Stepped Down As CEO
In A Nutshell:
After the Box launch fiasco, Gwen took a good hard look at herself — and realized that she had to let go in order for Tribeless to grow. She remains actively involved as ambassador and lead facilitator, but Shawn has since stepped up as CEO, leading Tribeless into its next phase of growth.
Sometime this September, as Gwen was flying off to Viet Nam for yet another conference, a question buried itself deep in her psyche and refused to budge:
“Is the entrepreneurship life for me?”
It was the first time in six years she’d ever questioned that identity.
The past few months had been exhausting. She had trouble sleeping at night, trading sheep for constant slew of problems. There was just so much to worry about — the product, the community, the finances, everything.
The more interest Tribeless attracted, the harder it was for her to relax.
At some point, she’d reached her limit, and would just idle her time away on social media or Netflix — much like a child procrastinating their homework.
But this was no mid-term exam. This was their livelihood.
The Box launch was the nail in the coffin. After taking a good hard look at the marathon she’d unwittingly made them run, Gwen had to face the facts:
She wasn’t cut out to be CEO. But Shawn was.
He’s smart. He’s resourceful. And he’s resilient as hell, willing and able to deal with all the stress, uncertainty and failure that comes with the job description.
To quote the no-holds-barred Medium article she wrote on this decision:
I realized that by learning to let go of this role, I was letting go of so much else — the emotional baggage I’d attached to Tribeless, the societal expectations I’d internalized, and most importantly, the idea that I’m some perfect, wise, irreproachable person.
I’m not perfect. But I’m learning that to be a leader, I don’t have to be.
Leadership isn’t about pretending you have it all together, or telling others what to do. It’s about humility, vulnerability, trust, and being willing to put yourself last — even if that means (temporarily) removing yourself from the equation.
So, as of November 1st 2018, Shawn is CEO of Tribeless PLT.
Gwen will continue to be actively involved in the company, serving as the ambassador and lead facilitator, but running the business is now Shawn’s responsibility — and he couldn’t be more excited (or terrified!). 💛
His first order of business? Growing the team!
If you’ve read all 5,600 words to arrive at this point, please consider applying. You’re either really bored, or you care very much — either way, we’d love to get to know you :) Learn more and apply at tribeless.co/join.
🤷 What’s next for Tribeless?
What a year it’s been! All that exploration has given us a clearer idea of who we are and the value we bring — a facilitation company with a methodology (The Empathy Box) that can give anyone an experience of empathy in action.
Our biggest lesson from 2018 is that we need to shift our focus to education: giving people the SKILLS and KNOWLEDGE to have empathic conversations, instead of just selling them the tools for it.
That’s why starting this year, we will no longer be selling The Empathy Box as-is. Instead, we’ll be offering it via empathy and communication training for both individuals and organizations. 💛🙏
What will this look like?
For individuals who are keen on getting The Empathy Box, we will be hosting monthly Tribeless Conversations (where you can pre-buy the Basic Box), and quarterly facilitator trainings (exclusively for the Advanced Box).
These will hopefully kick-off in KL and Singapore latest by Feb/March 2019. You can sign up for updates (and first dibs!) here. 💛
For organizations, we’ll be offering longer-term programs and trainings that address these three main issues:
- Employee Engagement, for service companies that have high churn rates,
- Graduate Employability, for universities that want to upskill their students,
- Change Management, for fast-growing start-ups & intergenerational teams.
If this sounds like your company, and you’d like more info, please get in touch with us — we’d love to explore with you! 🙏
It’s taken us so long to get to where we are today, but we didn’t do it alone. 🙃
Some final thank-you’s before we wrap this up:
- Yi Zhe & our friends at Undelusional, who have always been there for us — whether it was about business, friendship, or just couples counselling (LOL).
- Qiqi Xu, for the gorgeous lettering on the Empathy Box logo, cards and motif!
- Sim Yen, for always being there for us in KL. Fun-fact: She play-tested the first ever version of The Empathy Box, aaaalllll the way back in July 2017.
- Danielle West, for being one of our first believers AND an awesome anchor Host in Singapore, supporting us and the community since the beginning.
- Marta Micháns, for continuing to Host in Barcelona all these months and building the community there, even when we don’t speak a lick of Spanish!
- David Kelly, for your love, support and introduction to the facilitation world.
- Reza Abedi, for being such an awesome person to work and experiment with.
- Brian Soo and Connie Desirae, for making such incredible videos about us.
- Vulcan Post, for all the gracious coverage, video testimonial and fun times!
- Nicole Kelner, for coming all the way from NYC to work with us for a month.
- Hydie Warwick, for helping us grow and nurture our wonderful community.
- Brandon Liu, for being crazy enough to share in our vision for the world. 💛
- YOU, for reading all the way!
We are grateful. We are overwhelmed. And we can’t wait for what’s to come.
2019, here we go! 💃💃💃
Gwen Yi is the founder of Tribeless (www.tribeless.co), a global movement and facilitation company that teaches empathy through conversations. Sign up for first dibs on our 2019 programs here, and apply to join our team here.
If you’ve been touched by our work in 2018, please consider leaving us a testimonial on Facebook. It totally makes our day, and it helps our business! (98% of our customers come from word-of-mouth) 🙃
